with the Sh policy-map int command it only shows that there were some drops, and the packets being queued are showed at the time of queueing, but what I would like to be able to see is the actual dropped packet.

Like is there a way I could be notified when a packet is dropped?

There are some snmp mibs that will allow you to monitor qos but I don't know of any native ios function that will alert you when qos causes a packet drop. Anyone else?

I not able to use a sniffer, but I'm not sure that it will tell me what packets didn't make it.

Take a look at this.

http://www.cisco.com/en/US/tech/tk543/tk759/technologies_tech_note09186a0080094bc3.shtml