"5. How to get around the rule that two uplinks cannot be in the same vlan"
I don't believe there is such a rule. You can have both uplinks configured with the same VLAN. This is normally used to bridge traffic "through" the CSS though. I've never tried dual-homing a CSS as I have dual CSS's in all of my production implementations.
I'd try configuring both uplinks for the same VLAN, and configuring an HSRP VLAN on your 6509's. The HSRP hello traffic would pass through the CSS to get to the opposite switch. i.e. treat the CSS like a regular access layer ethernet switch.
With VLAN autostate and/or interface tracking on the 6509, a failure of an uplink would cause the backup HSRP partner to go primary and the traffic would begin taking the other link.