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Best Telco Stories

Most of us in the networking world have had issues working with telcos.  Here is your chances to share your funny telco stories!

Here is mine....

One site had a frame relay circuit that was bouncing and spent more time down then up.  The client was running on their backup ISDN circuit and getting huge bills.  I kept working with the telco and they kept saying it was a CPE issue.  We replaced the WIC 3 times and same condition.  I told them that the issue was with the line and when they tested it they said they saw no issue.  Finally after about two months of this, I asked my field engineer to go on site and hang out for at least 2 hours.  Then I called the telco and told them that all the equipment was replaced, the chassis, card (again), everything.  The telco tech broke into the circuit and told me that he now sees the issue.  That the faulty Cisco equipment was masking a secondary issue with the circuit.  They repaired the circuit and it came back up.

The funnies part of this, we didn't replace anything the last time.  The chassis was never replaced and the WIC was, but it was never the issue.

I just love dealing with some of the telco's out there!

Happy New Year to all.

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.
Everyone's tags (2)
66 REPLIES
Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Kimberly,

I used to work for a Telco, so I have many stories

This is the most recent one that happened right before the Holidays. There is a

small business on our campus that is using ADSL for their connectivity. The poor

guy who runs the place was having problems and he needed a hand to try and get things

fixed up. The service was really flaky so we had the Telco do a cable transfer which seemed

to help a great deal.

About a week later his service is completely dead. I contacted the Telco and was very surprised

to find out that they had gone and done another cable transfer. They didn't let anyone know that this

was taking place. WTF! I asked the Telco tech if they thought the cross-connect jumper in the

main demark would just magically move when they did this change and he said he was unaware that anything

would need to be done at this end

Love em!

Cheers!

Huff

Re: Best Telco Stories

Huff,

That is a good one!  I am sure you have a lot of good stories working for a telco!

Give you a +5 for this one.

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.
Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hi Kimberly,

Thanks for posting back so we could give your great story the +5 it deserves

It sounds like you used "reverse Telco Psychology" on them. Hahahahahaha!

I thought you might like this Telco story......from back in the day. We were going

through Safety training and of course there were many lists of Rules. The one that

struck as pretty crazy was Rule #3.

RULE # 3 - No Riding on moving buildings.

Whaaaaat??

So we swore on our hearts that we would never ride on a moving building and passed the

Safety training.

Years later I found out that the reason the rule existed was due to the fact that some guy who was

supposed to disconnect an aerial service so a building could be moved off its foundation decided that

he would just ride on the building and hold the line up out of the way instead. It turns out that the guy

got pulled off the building when the line he was holding got caught on some other wires. I guess he broke

some bones but was lucky to walk away at all.

So remember.....

RULE # 3 - No Riding on moving buildings.

Cheers!

Huff

Re: Best Telco Stories

Huff,

That is great, I will always have to remember rule #3!  +5 for the rules.

Cheers,

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.
Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Kimberly,

I guess you and I are the only people who have trouble with Telcos

Here is the latest one. Just happened 10 minutes ago.

The Telco always asks me to help them extend circuits to new locations here on campus

due to the size and intricacies of the place. So this lady from the Telco phones me to ask

if I can help one of their techs next week. I say "no problem" just let me know what date and time

you are coming. She replies "we'll be there on Tuesday January 11 between 8:00AM and 6:00PM

Whaaaat? .............................................................................................

I remind her that I'm helping them out here and that a 10 hour window of waiting around for them

probably won't work. "But that's how we always do it" she says. Typical telco response!

We managed to work out a time between 12:30PM and 2:30PM. Hahahahahahahaha!

Cheers!

Huff

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Huff,

I gues you and I are the only ones with Telco issues.  Yeah I personally just love the 10 hour window for a little assistance!  Nice!

One of my customers was standing in front of the smart-jack, when their circuit was down, telling me that there was a big red alarm light on it.  I called the telco and they said, it was an issue with the CPE (client premise equipment).  I conferenced in the client and he said he was standing in front of the smart-jack with a red failure light on it, the telco tech wouldn't beleive him or me.  I dialed into the router remotely and saw loss of frame, loss of signal, and an AIS alarm.

I demaded they replace the card in the smart-jack after fighting with them for a couple of hours.  Finally, the telco said, we will dispatch to the site, but if there is no issue with our equipment we will bill you.  We don't usually do this and perfer to have the client address their equipment issues before sending anyone on site.

I told them to bill the crap out of me if there is nothing wrong with their smart-jack.  The next morning the tech showed up on site and found an issue with the smart-jack.  Replaced it and magically all was fine!!!!  Go figure!

Good luck with them next week.  +5 for your story.

Cheers,

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.
Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Kimberly,

That's the way to do it buddy! Just tell them to bill the **** out

of you if they can prove the problem is not theirs.

Put their money where their mouth is! Sweet! +5

Cheers!

Huff

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Rob, your badge just changed color in front of my eyes!

Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Maria,

Happy Holidays my friend! Hope all is well with you and your

family

Cheers!

Huff

Re: Best Telco Stories

Great posts....here is my on going saga

We deal with a few telco's but 2 main ones.

One of them, who I will leave nameless, whenever we have an issue with a circuit down or flapping I call them to report the situation. When I am 100% that it is their issue causing the problem i always answer yes to all their usual questions no matter if I did what they ask or not. So I open the ticket and monitor the circuit. Almost 100% of the time about 20 to 30 minutes later the circuit comes back up and it is almost the same amount of time every time. I call back and let them know it is back on line and ask the most difficult question of all..... what happened? And nearly 100% of the time with this telco I get "we did not do anything". I thought it was so funny one time when I opened another ticket I told the person when they said " I will get a Technician on the problem", I told them there was no need that me just placing the call to you should be enough to fix the problem. They asked what I meant and I told them, "Every time I call the circuit comes back on line in 20 to 30 minutes and when I ask you what happened I get the same answer, " we did not do anything, so I don't think I need a technician", needless to say they were speechless and guess what....they said they found a problem and let me know what they did....go figure.

Now for a good telco....the other telco we deal with the most is great and I will mention them by name because they earned it, Paetec. Whenever I call them they will tell me exactly what happened even if it does not put them in the best light. How refreshing and honest. Now the funny part with them and they even could not believe me when I told them.

On another call with Paetec's circuit they said they could not find anything on their side but the last mile provider could be the issue and they would contact them. So I asked who they were and they told me....it was the provider I just mentioned above. So I told Paetec my stories about them and they laughed. So now when Paetec called the other provider and let them know they saw a issue with the circuit on their end they took the info. Guess what about 20 to 30 minutes later the circuit came back up and the Paetec tech called me right away to let me know it was back up, but when he called I could tell he was hold back laughing. Before I could say anything he goes to me..."go ahead and ask me what happened" followed by laughter that he could not contain...so I asked, he told me they said they did not do anything....how funny...even telco to telco. The Paetec tech has called me twice since laughing to tell me it happened again with another customer.

Mike

Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Mike,

That's so funny and yet so true! +5 my friend hahahahaha!

You might remember a TV show called "Hogans Heros", in it

there was a character named SGT. Shultz (sp?). Most of the Telcos

use his most famous line all the time.....

"I know nothing!"

Nice to see you back Mike!

Cheers!

Huff

Re: Best Telco Stories

Mike,

That is so very true with telco's!  +5 for your stories and I think I know which telco you didn't name....we work with them too!!!!!!

Huff....nicely done with the Hogans Heros reference!!!

Cheers!

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.

Re: Best Telco Stories

Oh the fun we have.......

Rob...should we call you Hogan.......after all with the first honors of being awarded the "super gold" you are CSC's hero..... 

I slay myself some times.... 

Congrats Rob, much deserved!!

Mike

Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Kimberly,

Just a follow-up here on last weeks story.....remember the Telco tech was

going to come out yesterday.....

We managed to work out a time between 12:30PM and 2:30PM. Hahahahahahahaha!

Well he showed up @ 10:15AM and forgot to Call b4 coming. UUGGHH!

Same old story

Cheers!

Huff

Re: Best Telco Stories

Huff,

Yeah it is just classic telco!!!  Well at least you didn't spend all day waiting for them to show up.  hahahaha....

Cheers.

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.

Re: Best Telco Stories

Not exactly a telco story but still so funny that I'll never forget it although it is almost twenty years ago.

IT was not as advanced as it is today and standards were still not implemented as torough as they are nowadays. The Internet was an unknown phenomenon and Novell was in its heydays. I was working for a Telco as a network engineer.

We had an assignment with a customer who was migrating to the latest technology. A 10BaseT network.

They also had a mainframe which ran important business applications, I believe it was a Unisys.

At the time there was no standard solution to enable communication with that mainframe over a network.

Still, a smart salesman had managed to find something:

There was a guy from Denmark who had developed a Protocol Gateway to enable this type of mainframe to communicate over IPX.

The server was rolled in together with the guy and I was asked to support him regarding the network.

He was totally excited when he learned that I was able to capture network traffic on my PC. We would not call this baby portable nowadays.

His "product" appeared to be anything but plug-and-play so he needed to make a huge amount of adjustments. Still we got along quite well and I think he appreciated my help. Our understanding was clear though: he was the master and I was the pupil.

Then we got to a point where his software crashed due to some unknown cause.

Noticing this, I said to him: "It's crashed."

He then spoke to me the unforgettable words: "No, they are just option negotiating".

Leo

Re: Best Telco Stories

Leo,

Nice, I will have to remember that one!  "Option Negotiating".  Thank you for sharing a good story.

Thanks and cheers.

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.
Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hi Leo,

"Option Negotiating" sweet! I'm going to use that one going forward

Cheers!

Rob

Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Kimberly,

Here's the follow-up, follow-up from yesterdays visit from the Telco

So, I extend the circuit for the tech to the Riser room in the area where he's

hooking up the new service. I meet him down at the customer location and take him

to the riser. There is a couple of new Cat6 cables hanging at the Bix cross-connect

for him to use. I ask him to go ahead and terminate the cables on the Bix...........

well he looks at me like I've got 3 heads and says "R66 block" ..........I'm like ....what???

I ask him one more time to go ahead and punch down his 2 new cables on the spare

Bix ............then he looks at me and says "we don't do that" ...OMG ....USELESS!

So he takes one of the new cables and skins it back to reveal the pairs, the sheath of the cable

where he has been working looks like it has been chewed by a Junkyard dog (no offense to any dogs

out there). He takes the W/BL pair and punches it right on the Bix where I've run his circuit to .....very nice!

So, I'll have to go back next week and re-do all this clumsy work

I just cringe every time I have to work with this group! It is painful to say the least.

Cheers!

Huff

Re: Best Telco Stories

Huff,

I completely understand about them being completely useless!!!  I do feel your pain and have some of my own coming up soon with a really undesirable telco...not fun.

Have fun with cleaning up the telco mess.

Cheers,

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.
Gold

Re: Best Telco Stories

Ok here is one of mine..

I was having problems getting out on the internet with my home line with a fixed ip.

and at this time the telco did not like firewalls and basically they did not help you if they found out that you had a firewall connected.

"unsupported" they would say.

so during my own testing i connected a switch with a span port so I could sniff the outside of the interface.

I come to the conclusion that I can not reach my own default gateway, in fact I can not se a single packet coming from the WAN link.

no counters on the interface and nothing in wireshark.

I call the telco support and tells them my problem and I get a support guy who starts to go through the normal faliure list.

After about 20-25 minutes of trying to get them to start looking in their end he proudly proclaims that there is no error in their side and there is nothing wrong with the link, he can see my computer.

I then am a bit stumped for an answer since i have not seen any packet at all from them, he insists that he can see my computer.

I then ask him how he can see my computer and with what tool since i have not recieved any packet on the WAN link . he proudly proclaims that he is using NSlookup and that he can se my computer and ip address there.

I then proceed with explaining to him that just because he can see me in the phone book does not mean that my phone works.

same with nslookup.

He agrees to file a error report to the backend.

Problem solved after a couple of hours.

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hobbe,

Yeah, you got to love the front line telco techs!

+5 for your story and thank you for sharing this.

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.
Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hi Kimberly,

Hope all is well

Here is the Final (I hope) outcome of our simple (for most) ADSL install.

Well ...............after 4 "so called" Techs,10 missed appointments, 43 phone calls

16 new grey hairs, 100 moments of meditation, 77 #@%! words, 10 hours of

standing around waiting and 6 minutes of "small business man" hand holding

it's all done.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

HIGHLIGHTS

1.Learning new languages

2. Explaining where our University Campus is located (Campuses are generally quite large landmarks )

3. 3 cable transfers (one planned - two unplanned)

4. a Tech who wanted to re-punch all the Bix connections with an "Exacto" knife

5. more "we don't do that's"

6. 4 "where do I park" questions

7. learning new meditation techniques (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!)

8. Priceless

The poor guy who opens his new shop on Monday finally has his ADSL circuit.

I can't wait for next time

Cheers!

Huff

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Huff,

All on this side is ok, I am fighting with yet another telco but that story is not ready yet! 

hahahahahahaha-----for the hightlights of your latest telco issue!  I am sure you can't wait for the next time someone needs something!!!!

+5 for your recap!

Cheers,

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.
Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Kimberly,

With my newly found meditation techniques I'll be ready for anything the Telco

can throw at me .Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I'll be waiting for your latest story my friend!

Cheers!

Huff

Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Kimberly,

Hope all is well with you!

It's been awhile since our last story so I thought it must be time to add

another one from my "Telco" past life

Way back in the day of 1A2 Key Equipment telephone systems there was no such thing

as Cat5 or 6 cabling. Some phone setups needed 50 or 75 pair cables.Hahahahaha! These

were always a real Bear to pull especially for long runs.

Well......one day we were pulling a very long run of 50 pair cable through an extremely

difficult office/warehouse configuration. The conduit had alot of 90's and bad connectors that made

the pull even worse. In the middle of the run there was a pull-box and this is where I was located

for the cable pull. So, we have spent almost 4-5 hours pulling this cable and we get almost to the

end. The last bit of slack is getting pulled up into the pull-box I am manning......to my horror I realize that

I've taken the cable out of the pull-box on one side of a nice wooden (visible) beam and back up the other

side. The beautiful Gray 50 pair cable is forming a lovely loop around the nice beam ............Oooooooops!!!

Needless to say I've always been more careful when doing any wiring/cabling jobs

Cheers!

Huff

or for Leo "Smooth Rob"

Re: Best Telco Stories

Huff "Smooth Rob" 

Things here are as good as they can be....working and such!  LOL  I am glad that things are good with you.

Love your newest telco story (+5 for you), I am still fighting with a telco for my newest story!

Have fun!

Kimberly

Thanks and Cheers! Kimberly Please remember to rate helpful posts.
Hall of Fame Super Red

Re: Best Telco Stories

Hey Kimberley,

Work is never too much fun ...that's why we come to Leo's Cafe

to share Telco stories (+5)

Cheers!

Huff

Hall of Fame Super Gold

Re: Best Telco Stories

2. Explaining where our University Campus is located (Campuses are generally quite large landmarks )

In GPS-language, give them the EXACT coordinates from a western branded GPS unit.  Then again, this could back-fire and someone could be using the Eastern-branded (GLONASS) system. 

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