Hello I have a similar setup, I have a node configured as the routing node, and I have the same issue, users registered to the other nodes, do not see presence of Lync users, and cannot chat either. I have to manually assign my jabber users to the routing node to make it work.
Are you getting this error “Installer User Interface Mode Not Supported. The installer cannot run in this UI mode. To specify the interface mode, use the -i command-line option, followed by the UI mode identifier. The value UI mode identifiers...
The below trick might come handy when you have to add a new node to a cluster but you don't have or is unsure of the security password for the publisher. This procedure has been around for ages.
1) Login into the CLI of the Publisher.